Being asked to be in a wedding party is a great honor, but it also comes with significant responsibilities. Whether you're a bridesmaid, groomsman, maid of honor, or best man, your role extends far beyond just showing up on the wedding day. This comprehensive checklist covers everything you need to know about your duties, attire, preparation, and how to be the best support system for the happy couple.
From helping with pre-wedding events to ensuring everything runs smoothly on the big day, wedding party members play crucial roles in making the wedding successful. Use this guide to understand your responsibilities, stay organized, and help create an unforgettable celebration for your friends or family members.
Before diving into the checklist, it's important to understand what being in a wedding party means. You're not just a guest—you're an active participant in the wedding planning process and the celebration itself. Your primary role is to support the couple emotionally and logistically throughout the entire wedding journey.
Being in a wedding party involves both time and financial commitments. You'll be responsible for purchasing your attire, contributing to pre-wedding events like bachelor/bachelorette parties, and potentially covering travel and accommodation costs. Discuss budget expectations with the couple early so everyone is on the same page.
Your responsibilities will vary depending on your specific role. Maid of honor and best man have additional duties, while bridesmaids and groomsmen have more general support roles. Regardless of your position, communication and reliability are key. The couple is counting on you, so be responsive to messages, show up on time, and follow through on commitments.
One of your first responsibilities is ordering and preparing your wedding party attire. The couple will typically choose the style and color, but you'll be responsible for ordering, paying for, and maintaining your outfit. Get measured professionally and order by the deadline—late orders can delay the entire wedding party.
Schedule fittings for alterations well in advance. Wedding party attire often needs adjustments, and you want to ensure everything fits perfectly. Try on your complete outfit before the wedding day to make sure everything works together—shoes, accessories, and the main outfit.
For bridesmaids, coordinate hair and makeup plans. Many couples hire professionals for the wedding day, but you may need to schedule and pay for your own appointments. Attend any trials if offered, and communicate your preferences while respecting the couple's overall vision.
Groomsmen should plan their grooming—haircuts, shaves, etc.—for a few days before the wedding so you look fresh but not too freshly cut. Coordinate accessories like ties, cufflinks, and pocket squares with the other groomsmen to ensure consistency.
As a wedding party member, you'll be involved in several pre-wedding events. The engagement party is typically the first celebration, and while you may not be responsible for planning it, you should attend and help celebrate.
Bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties are where wedding party members take on more planning responsibility. The maid of honor typically leads the bridal shower and bachelorette party planning, while the best man leads the bachelor party. However, all wedding party members should contribute ideas, help with planning, and attend these events.
The rehearsal dinner is typically the night before the wedding. This is when you'll practice the ceremony processional and recessional, and it's also often when the couple gives gifts to the wedding party. Attend this event—it's important for understanding your role in the ceremony.
The maid of honor has the most responsibilities of any bridesmaid. In addition to all general wedding party duties, the MOH typically helps the bride with dress shopping, organizes the bridal shower, plans the bachelorette party, and coordinates the other bridesmaids.
On the wedding day, the maid of honor holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony, signs the marriage license as a witness, gives a toast at the reception, and helps with practical tasks like fixing the bustle on the wedding dress. The MOH should keep an emergency kit handy and be ready to help with any issues that arise.
The maid of honor should be the bride's primary support person throughout the planning process and on the wedding day. This means being available to listen, help with decisions, and step in when needed. It's a big responsibility, but also a great honor.
The best man has similar responsibilities to the maid of honor, but for the groom. The best man typically plans the bachelor party, helps coordinate the groomsmen, and ensures the groom is ready and on time for everything.
During the ceremony, the best man holds the groom's ring, signs the marriage license as a witness, and gives a toast at the reception. The best man should keep the marriage license safe and ensure it gets to the right place after the ceremony.
The best man should be the groom's right-hand person throughout the wedding process. This includes helping with transportation coordination, handling any day-of emergencies, and ensuring the groom stays calm and enjoys his day.
Being in a wedding party involves several financial commitments. You'll need to purchase your attire (though some couples cover this), pay for alterations, cover hair and makeup costs if not provided, contribute to bachelor/bachelorette party expenses, and potentially pay for travel and accommodations.
You should also give the couple a wedding gift, though this can be from the entire wedding party as a group gift. Discuss gift plans with other wedding party members—group gifts are common and can be more meaningful than individual smaller gifts.
Budget for all these expenses early. Being in a wedding party can cost several hundred to over a thousand dollars depending on the wedding's location and formality. If budget is a concern, have an honest conversation with the couple early in the process.
The week before the wedding is when everything comes together. Confirm all your travel arrangements and hotel reservations. Confirm all appointment times—hair, makeup, rehearsal, etc. Pack for the entire wedding weekend, including your wedding day outfit, casual clothes for other events, and any items you need for your specific role.
Review your ceremony responsibilities one more time. Practice walking in your wedding shoes if they're new. Get a good night's sleep—the wedding day will be long and you'll need your energy. Charge your phone and camera so you're ready to document the day.
Arrive at the getting-ready location on time—actually, arrive a few minutes early. The timeline is usually tight, and being late can throw off the entire schedule. Eat a good breakfast before you start getting ready, and stay hydrated throughout the day.
Bridesmaids will typically get hair and makeup done together. Follow the schedule, and help the bride get ready when it's her turn. Groomsmen should help the groom get ready and ensure he has everything he needs. Take getting-ready photos, but also help with practical tasks.
Keep the emergency kit accessible—you never know when you'll need a safety pin, stain remover, or pain reliever. Stay calm and positive, even if things don't go exactly as planned. Your attitude sets the tone for the day.
Arrive at the ceremony venue on time and line up in your correct processional order. Walk down the aisle at the correct pace—not too fast, not too slow. Stand in your assigned position and hold your bouquet or hands correctly. Participate in the ceremony as planned, and if you're holding rings or signing the license, do so when the time comes.
Most importantly, smile and look happy throughout the ceremony. You're on display, and your expressions will show up in photos. Even if you're nervous or something goes wrong, maintain a positive demeanor. Walk in the recessional in the correct order, and then proceed to photos.
Participate fully in all photos—wedding party photos, family photos, and any other groupings. Follow the photographer's directions and stay until all photos are complete. Help keep the timeline on schedule by being ready when called.
At the reception, make the grand entrance with the couple, find your assigned seat at the head table, and give your toast if you're the maid of honor or best man. Participate in the first dance, help with cake cutting if needed, and mingle with guests. Help keep the energy up on the dance floor—you're there to celebrate and have fun!
Stay until the end of the reception, and help with cleanup if needed. Collect all your personal items before leaving. The wedding day is long, but your presence and support mean everything to the couple.
Your responsibilities don't end when the reception does. Return any rental items promptly if applicable. Send a thank-you message to the couple for including you in their special day. Share any good photos you took, but wait for the couple to post their own photos before sharing on social media.
Being aware of common mistakes can help you be a better wedding party member:
Being in a wedding party is a significant honor and responsibility. This checklist covers everything from initial planning to post-wedding follow-up, ensuring you can be the best support system possible for the happy couple.
Remember that your role is to help make the couple's day as smooth and enjoyable as possible. Be reliable, communicative, and positive throughout the entire process. The couple chose you because they trust and value you—live up to that trust by being the best wedding party member you can be!
For more wedding-related resources, check out our complete wedding planning checklist for couples, our wedding guest guide, and our destination wedding checklist.